appreciating others

i had always see myself as a nice person. i always thought i am a caring and loving person. thoughtful and kind. but the things is i am not. i take things for granted excessively. the best example would be my 'kindness' towards my family especially towards my mum. indeed i am aware of the fact that she carried me for nine months, went through a lot of pain and not to mention risking her life giving birth to me and has raised me until i become what i am today. but like most people out there i seem to ignore this fact and continue to mistreat my mum. i love her so much but she's the only person whom i get angry so very easily over the little things she does or say. this is due to the fact that i know no matter how far i would go in mistreating her, she would always forgive me and accept me and be there for me. but then of course, shes my mum! this morning my mum went to see me before leaving for work. she woke me up and said a few things to me since she would be at work when i leave home for kl later in the day. and then i suddenly remembered that last night she said that she want me, fitri and aishah to send her off to work. i tried to fight my sleepiness and asked alin who was about to sleep about it. she treated me like i was crazy. i started crying quietly thinking that we never know when is the last time we see someone. like my mum who didnt get to see her mother, my grandma for the last time before my grandma passed away. im not saying one of us was going to die although we will one day. but we never know when that day is. so at that time realizing this, i went downstairs quickly and went outside hoping that my mother still hadnt left. she was already in the car and kak ne was sending her off. you see, kak ne is always there for her so its not a wonder if my mum loves kak ne. my eyes were red but i hope they all saw it as the taste of slumber. she was like "wow, you really love me". i didnt say anything and only gave signals using my arms. at that time i was partly relieved and went back to alin's room and lied next to her. but at time i was already crying really badly. that had of course alarmed alin and she repeatly asking me why i was crying but i kept quiet and she got fed up with me and went back to sleep. I really love my mum. Happy Mother's day~

P.S. i have been very emotional lately.